Losing It

I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losing it

it’s just a voice in my head it can’t talk to me i just hear thoughts and my brain puts a new voice on them right? they’re still my thoughts but why do they feel so weird and different

WhEn do thoughts talk to you? when do command you to do things? when do your thoughts argue with each other? when does your body just start listening to the other thoughts even when you’re arguing?

except all my thoughts are in my voice, i can hear my thoughts in my own voice

that’s not my voice

it’s broken in odd places; it fumbles around certain words, drawing them out, extending them. It’s all over the place, this harsh, almost grating sound that fluctuates between cold and angry in all the wrong places

i aamm nott tHOUGHts

WHAT THE FUCK NO STOP I TOLD YOU TO STOP YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DO ANYTHING GET OFF THE FUCKING KEYBOARD

I AAM NOTT thOUGhtss

SHUT THE FUCK UP you’re just a voice in my head it finally got to me all the stress from everything, I guess I really did care about my grandfather I guess him dying in front of me was trau

AGDHFBHDJ

OH GOD OH GOD NO

 Ii aMm nnot ththoghtts..

FINE YOU’RE NOT THOUGHTS JUST STOP PLEASE just stop

What the fuck are you?

A piECE..

A fucking piece of what? 

“aAnd i Lookkkd Ndd BEhOlllD aa PalE HORrrrRSe”

What the fuck does that even mean? I’m going crazy I’m just fucking going crazy-

sSsOmme kkall Mee CAaPRICccORrrRN.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEA-

XCAAN YUuU NNOTT FeEEEeL theM WrITHE InSIDe Yu?? 

caNn yu nott ttel frrrm thE sOuNNNd oFf yOUrrr ownn sscccrrrreams??

yyOU knknoww mE..

QqUieT nnow..

what the fuck was that what the fuck are you doing to me

SaVinG Uss..

how the fuck is this saving me 

IiI aM ThE onLY thinng prrrventtng THoSE tumOrRs frrm Grrowing and SpRREding

HOW THE FUCK DID I EVEN GET THESE TUMORS WHAT DID YOU-

OhH llookkk YouRrrre sKKrrreaming aggan..

STop sPazzzmng..

sssTop bllleednng..

iIiI diDdntt LeTT it BlLOomm Ttooo deEEplly..

nNoW..

DOYUU wAnntt TOO ennD Up llikke tHE OLLD MMANNN??

no

iIii Diddnnt THthINkk sso.. 

what do you want

Tto lliiive..

yOu’Re Gooooinng tto gGo Outtt..

no. 

Hhmm??

No. No no no no NO NO NO NO. 

Iimm ddonnne Ttaalkkng.. 

Yyu wiill gGo.. 

Iim lletttng gGoo nnowW..

what the fuck does that mean?

...hello?

Where the fuck did it go.

Oh god, I’ve been fucking typing this whole thing to myself haven’t I. This is proof. This is proof, I’ve finally lost it.

My face feels weird.

What’s-

No.

No, that’s not.

Not my face. Not my face, not my eye, no.

STOP MAKING IT GROW IN MY EYE NO NO NO

Please, please...just make this stop. I’ll do what you want just please make this stop make it stop PLEASE MAKE IT STOP